03.01.25

it's finally spring! the moment i saw daffodils sprouting i knew i survived another winter. you really do start to get colder and more sensetive to the seasons as you get older. when i went to get my saturday coffee and lunch, it felt like the sun was warming me up to the bone, i wish i could bottle up the feeling early spring gives me... maybe this is a sign i should start taking vitamin d again, lol.

i'm seeing rebecca black on the 5th with a good friend, i can't wait! we're going thrifting together tomorrow to find something fun to wear. i really love her new song trust, it's been on loop. it's crazy how far she's come since friday! i love to see a girl in pop finally get her flowers.

i've been thinking a lot about this journey of self love, and the steps i need to take to get there, but i realized all the steps i've already taken instead. i have so many dear friends, a loving partner and home, work that i enjoy for the most part... it's been a lot of work to get to this point, but it's good to step back and see how far i've come. it makes my goals feel a lot less daunting!

02.27.25

i thought my little brother was going to die february 12th. i've never been so afraid. days after the scare, he's healthy, but by then i had sobbed myself into a fever... i had a lot of time to think, and i realized that anxiety has encased me so perfectly, for years i've mistaken it for my own skin. fear over things that never mattered! i'm 30 now, i want to be brave and someone my brother can admire. here's hoping it all goes to plan...

to celebrate this metamorphosis i wanted to make a cocoon for myself, the quiet place where i can rest and let my thoughts flow. a website! who knows, maybe someone out there is watching, i always loved following the lives of people i'll never meet. either way, it'll be a good practice of being nice to myself, and html i suppose. this is much harder than i remember it being back on myspace...

i'm finally listening to the album once twice melody by beach house. they've been one of my favorite bands since high school, and they're still making such great albums. it feels like the exact moment i'm in, i feel so hopeful.